Monday, 3 October 2016

What changes when you become independent?

Image taken from: https://uk.pinterest.com/pin/Ad7cukZoPSbXlKip-imitaZHlPu6G5yB4E_RB6W3ZE8XsFdCC7_7gAo/

As a person with a very unsettling life like myself, I must say I have tried it all, and the being independent thing is and always has been major for me.

As a kid I always longed for my independence, I couldn't wait until I was 18 and could spread my wings.
What I didn't know is that life happens. And no matter how much you dream it is going to be like or plan how it will be, you don't exactly know what will come.


For me, when I turned 18, I couldn't have my independence right away. I still needed to go to university and study to be something, and financially wise I couldn't afford a university far away from my parents, so I would have to study close and still live with them.
So I started thinking "I can't wait to be 21, because then I will be someone independent".

Ha.

My unsetttliness started before I even realized. As I graduated from high school I thought I wanted to be an actress and so, I went to college for it. Out of 3 years of study I completed only 1. Why?
Well, It took me the year to realize that life was not for me.
And so I got lost, I didn't know what to do.
My dad came to the rescue with an idea, which was what finally gave me the independence I longed for.

I went to flight attending school, studied hard, and loved it. And got my first job even before graduating.
I did graduate though, and then I went to work. And oh boy, was that THE independence.

I got to move to Dubai, work for a major company, have my own place, my own money, and be away from my family (and was that away... 12.219km or 7.592 miles).

So what changed when I became independent?

Taken from: https://uk.pinterest.com/pin/313563192788782160/

1. I created my own routine.
We may think we have our own routine even when we live with family, but as a matter of fact we don't. We haven't built how things work in your house, your rules, your needs.
Before you had parents tell you what time to go to bed, and what time to get up, what your weekend curfew was and so on. When you have your house and your job, it isn't you who dictates time either, it is your responsibilities.
How many hours of sleep do you need to function well the following day? What time schedule is your work? What house duties do you have to do, like cleaning, paying bills and so on?

2. Priorities

That's when you realize you don't have enough time to do everything you wanted, and sometimes you don't even have time to finish only the responsibilities, let alone going out and doing things to pleasure you.
So you need to put priorities:
- What has to be done no matter what
- What has to be done but doesn't have to happen right away, it can be scheduled
- What things you should do to keep yourself happy
- What things you would like to do, but they won't necessarily bring you the joy you need to survive
I made a list of those things, and put them in my daily schedule. So after all that had to be done was in and what could be scheduled too, I would look at spare time to add the happy and joyful things.
And trust me when you are done and you look at the schedule you realize that you thought you would be doing a lot of happy things, and in the end it truly is maybe 1 happy thing or 2 per week.
Sad, I know.
Taken from: https://uk.pinterest.com/pin/418131146633490348/

3. Money

Bills are things that consume most of us when we are independent, specially if you are 100% independent, as in you don't have a husband/wife to share the responsibilities, or roommates, etc.
Most often the salary you make will do for your bills and not a lot will be left over to splurge, and if you do spend it all, most likely things that you don't expect to happen, do happen, like your car breaks down, or you need a plumber and so on.
This is when you realize you can't spend all the money you make on shoes.
Finance becomes your best friend, and so you start dividing your money in:
- Money for bills
- Money for emergencies
- Money for savings (for your future self)
- Money for splurging

Taken from: https://uk.pinterest.com/pin/471470654715335625/

4. Organizing yourself

This is something you have to learn quickly otherwise your life will become chaos in a very short time.
Organizing is not just about having the house and your things organized, it is also about having your schedule organized. All the things you have to do, meetings, doctor appointments, grocery shopping, paying the bills, etc.
We tend not to account the daily things we need to do apart from working when we are independent. Life is not about working only, it is about managing your whole life and details into place and time.
My tip is have either a planner where you have written all the to do's or have notes to remind you on your fridge, or reminders on your phone.
Taken from: https://uk.pinterest.com/pin/485403666067053261/

5. It's not that easy

The dream of a teenager to be independent is never what the real deal is. We idealize what it will be, but we have no idea. So when we get to do it we see it is a lot harder and not as fun as we thought.
But once we experience being independent, going back to dependency is the hardest thing ever.
Because when you finally get how to function on your own wonderfully, going back to the parents, or getting married means you have to leave behind your routine, and either adapt to the already established routine or create a new one with your partner.

Taken from: https://uk.pinterest.com/pin/9288742955471789/

This post may sound like I don't like independence, but trust me it is not that.
I love independence, and for that is still the most awesome things a human being can have.
This post is just a reality check.

What about you, how do you feel about independence?
Love it, hate it?
Other thoughts on it?
Leave me a comment below letting me know.

22 comments:

  1. Independence growing up and being a responsible adult. Sounds like you are doing your part.

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  2. For me the biggest change after moving out and living on my own was suddenly having to do ALL chores by myself and remember EVERYTHING myself. But I got used to it, and honestly, I kind of enjoy it :D

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    1. I also enjoy it. Kind of liberating and fun

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  3. Thanks for the honest look. I know what you mean about it not being the way you thought. There are so many parts I love about being an adult but some that I can do without... like if someone else could do the grocery shopping that'd be great.

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    1. hahahah grocery shopping for me is not a problem, but there are things I dread, like unclogging things or killings bugs... hahahah

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  4. I love being independent and have my own agenda, I guess it is part of being an only child.

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    1. I think it is part of being someone with ambitions

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  5. couldn't have put things better myself, I was always pretty independent when living with my mum but things still changed drastically once I had my own bills to pay and routine to follow

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    1. hahahhaa very true! But good once you get it.

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  6. I love having my independence. It was actually something I had difficulty giving up when I got into a serious relationship. (Not that you have to give it ALL up, but learning to rely on someone other than my parents was weird for me!) And awesome point on life being totally different from what we expect as teenagers!!

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    1. Oh yes, when you become independent with a partner is another whole story added!

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  7. Yes, I felt this way too. Even though I am still not independent I now know that I don't actually want it. But because I am going next year on college in another city, I may as well start being independent now.

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    1. start feelings the pressure of it! hehehehe

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  8. Once of the biggest smacks in the face when I moved out was having to make dinner every night. Now, I love to cook, but there were days when I was so engrossed in what I was doing that the thought of stopping and making dinner kinda POed me. Still does, if I'm honest.

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    1. hahahahha I think everyone feels like that, cooking is great when you don't have to come up with it every single day...

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  9. i have been financially independent since i was in college (well at least from family as i was in scholarships). it may not be easy but i still love being independent! I learned a lot from doing things on my own :)

    The Budget Fashion Seeker

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  10. I love independence! I was always a big independence person until I met my other half and learned how to accept help and guidance sometimes!

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  11. I love being independent !! You learn so much!!

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