I have been away from the blog, being an awful blogger and YouTuber.
Many things have been happening, not just in my cancer battle but also in the rest.
But I am not here to bore you with all of it.
I want to restart my busy lifestyle and keep my mind occupied, and even though I started late today, at least I started.
So what is new?
Well, a bit over a week ago I got back to Brazil, and started my check up routine.
Yes, all over again.
First I had some blood work and then a neck ultrasound.
Results have arrived but my first actual doctor's appointment is tomorrow.
So even though I have my suspicions of what is going to happen next, it is not confirmed yet. Let's see what the doctor says.
What was I hoping for?
I was hoping for clear exams, in which it would mean that I would not need to put myself through surgery or radioactive iodine again.
Apart from normal knowledge, of cancer being back is never good, for me the biggest thing is that after last time I realized I don't really have any strength left in me to endure a surgery or radiation.
This may not be the worst or harshest treatment on Earth, but the psychological toll it takes is not pretty.
To help, after my radiation I have been inflicted with side effects no doctors warn you about, and when you question them after you have them, they never admit it is the treatment's fault.
What are the side effects I have?
About a month after I had the treatment I lost the ability of taste for a full month.
They told me loosing taste could happen right after and it would last 3 days to a week.
All lies. When I thought I was free of any side effects, they showed up. And trust me, not being able to taste food when you can smell it, is like torture. It feels like you are starving yourself.
After that my period got completely unbalanced. Not that I missed 1 month, or so.
No, I had period twice in 1 month for many months. Sometimes a month would have 2 periods, while in the next 1 normal period. I spent months where I had 1 week of freedom from bleeding before having it all over again.
And yes, the PMS also came with all the periods.
To put the cherry on top, It has been now 7 months that I have had 1 eye that waters a lot more.
As in I will be sitting normally doing my things and my left eye would start crying and not stop.
The tears aren't made of normal clear liquid, they are a liquid that is slightly thicker, so it blurs my vision completely when it starts.
No, the teary eye isn't provoked by makeup, or dry weather, or an infection.
Doctors have checked my eyes to be absolutely normal, I have been given eye drops that did absolutely nothing to it, I have tested no makeup, different makeup, different weather, and nothing works. To a point that every morning when I wake up my eye is completely shut because during my sleep it watered so much that it accumulates on my eyelashes and glues my eye shut.
Do I want another radioactive iodine treatment?
If you haven't guessed yet, here it is: NO!
The treatment makes you feel weak, your hair looses strength and liveliness, nails get weak, you have to be indoors for a month being antisocial because of the radiation, food looses taste, and to top it off you get side effects that will be with you either for a short while but also some that will be with you for the rest of your life.
Like, did you know this treatment yes may kill the thyroid cancer but may actually provoke other types of cancer in you like digestive tract cancers and leukemia?
Yep, doctors don't tell you that.
What are my results so far?
My ultrasound came clear, which is a very big happy thing.
My blood work is mostly awesome, better than before. except for 1.
My antithyroglobulin antibodies are sky high. as in the normality would be up to 160 UI/ml and right now it is 1811 UI/ml, so just a thousand, six hundred and fifty one UI more.
What does that mean?
Antithyroglobulin antibodies for patients like me are indicators that the cancer cell is still around in the body.
So what do I expcet my doctor to say?
I expect him to say I need to do a few more tests which will include a tomography and probably a whole body scan.
After that if we don't find any lumps he will ask me to go through radioactive iodine, highest dose again.
If there are lumps, then surgery followed by radioactive iodine.
So yay to me. Here I wait nervously for my appointment tomorrow to hear what is going to happen next.
Leave me a comment below.