Sunday, 27 September 2015

Do you dare to get married? - What is the real deal?


Today the post is written by a lovely lady I have met a few years ago Carol Farani. Here is her information:



Now to her post:

Future grooms, I hope you’re prepared to know what you will face ahead. The first year of marriage, is a time that you cannot even begin to take into account the inevitable teething fights that will occur.
The first year is all about fitting in with each other, learning to live by each other’s side and discovering each other’s characteristics. But above all it is a year of emotional learning, in which you will realise the strength to build a long and healthy life together.
Before marrying we all fantasise a life with that person, but once married we realise that is not the case. Any relationship is difficult: family, friends, work, friendship, dating etc. Accepting the differences of each other is one of the most complicated tasks that exists.
I still believe in the positives despite droping everything in my country and leaving the family behind, which can be seen as a major plus. Yes I’m married and living in a room for now, without my own things, but everyday is a novelty as much good as bad. It’s up to you, will you accept or adapt? You will need to.
Times can be hard. It makes you want to throw it all away and move on without looking back but my heart always wants to take a chance and believe.
The wedding party is beautiful and you soon realise that a year of planning is done in a day. It is very stressful! But the feeling of happiness in time is so great that it can not avoid a tear. And the honeymoon is magical.
The confusion comes after. You never really know who that person is until it is you and them alone and living together, learning about their organised or disorganised lives. This can generate conflicts because we have different personalities.
I hate when I’m asked about married life. It’s hard to explain or accept that you may not be in the perfect situation with a perfect job, house, pet and garden. Even if things aren’t always right I will always insist that we are doing well. People will speculate on your marriage and root against you (there are people who feel good in knowing the misfortune of others).
I take a deep breath and think that we have to accept and take the path we have chosen, learning from the consequences. Our time to feel accomplished will come, only that will require a lot of focus and time. It was all so rushed that we can not even breathe. It was all planned for two years; we took citizenship, arranged the marriage, went through two surgeries before traveling. The fast life demanded the maximum from us and we were not patient enough, we were crazy but we are in love.
Pay attention to the following tips to ensure that no one loses control and divorces or separates before reaching one year of their marriage.
– Do not run away from conflict – Accept the differences – Create and build confidence – Get out of the routine – Do not raise expectations, that goes for everything in life
Marriage is complex, each couple is a story and has its peculiarities. It’s a constant learning curve – there must be a lot of dialogue and understanding. Even if the conversation is long and we have to listen to responses that we do not want to hear, we must accept and try to always find the solution together.
Perfect people do not exist.
Only we know how to deal with differences and put pride aside in certain situations to live peacefully in harmony. Love is the most sublime feeling that we can feel. Having a life together with your life companion will be a daily struggle but it is definitely worth it.


So, what did you think of her post?
Let us know on the comments below.

5 comments:

  1. Lovely post but who is it written by? I think committment is the secret ingredient :)

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  2. Love it! When people ask me what marriage is like I usually say " it's a roller-coaster" it's full of ups and downs, it's one crazy ride but it's all worth it!

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  3. Yes. The rubber hits the road AFTER the lovely ceremony. It's never what we think it is going to be. Ever.

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  4. Compromise, commitment, understanding are 3 things that come to mind.

    And love!

    I met a couple on a plane once and asked them their own secret after over 50 years. They both said the most important factor was 'tolerance.'

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  5. A couple I met who'd been married over 50 years both told me that tolerance was the most important ingredient in a successful marriage! ;-)

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