Sunday, 24 May 2015

Long Distance Relationship to Marriage: Expectations x Reality

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When you have a long distance relationship, things don't always go as we would like them to, and people in general don't think it's a normal relationship.

Well, it is not a normal relationship, but in some levels it is a lot better!

Now, when you decide your long distance relationship is ready to step forward and go to marriage, the couple thinks a lot of things will change for better. So here is a list I've put together after researching with a few couples out there:

Close the distance

Expectation:
This is the first thing mentioned by all couples, "When we marry, there will no longer be any more distance"...
You picture yourself in the company of your loved one everyday, that travel will only happen when both of you are going together somewhere.

Reality:
Neither of you will have your friends and family around you all the time, so you will travel a lot to visit them, and sometimes you won't be able to do it as a couple, you will have to go alone.
So apart from again separating every now and then, you will also transfer the long distance relationship to your family and friends. - It never ends!

Alone time

Expectation:
You imagine that both lives are going to be normal when you're together finally, that it will be your perfect normal life with the extra special of having your loved one by you all the time.

Reality:
ALL THE TIME... Yes, we think that all the time is glorious, but then we forgot to remember you are not used to being with each other all the time, you are used to being most of the time away from each other. So when it changes completely it is overwhelming and can make you feel claustrophobic.
You end up wishing for some alone time with yourself, but feel guilty for asking because you should be enjoying the all the time together!

Moving adaptations

Expectation:
You both expect that the adaptation will take a very short time to none, because the two of you are finally together, and that's all that matters.

Reality:
A few months pass, and you two haven't agreed yet on how you want the house to be like, or what to put where, and how to get to certain places in town, and fixing up each others' schedule so they won't clash.

Cultural differences

Expectation:
You know each other, you love each other so there is nothing that will pull you apart, not even the differences. They can all be workout simply.

Reality:
Or not! The difference starts on how to fix the differences. You think the best way to solve it is this way, and she/he feels that the best way is completely different... and so you argue.
Even on the most silly things like food habits, one of you is used to eating on a certain way, while the other is used to a completely different way, and both want their ways to be the right one... and so you argue again!

Language misinterpretation

Expectation:
You both communicate very well to each other and understand your partner 100%, even when words get lost in translation you two understand what the other means because you were just meant to be.

Reality:
You understand what the other means... the wrong way. So maybe they meant to give you a compliment and words came out wrong and your loved one understood it as an offence.
You are articulate in your own home language, but when you have to take it to another language, no matter how well you speak it, you will never be as articulate as a native, and you will find yourself expressing things very badly.


There are a lot more things that I could go on about, but this post would be gigantic.
So I will stop here.

This is not a discouraging post for people in long distance relationships. I think they are awesome, and I still think it makes the couple stronger in loads of senses. This is just to have a bit of laugh at stupid situations we put ourselves in without noticing what could go wrong.

So if you are in a long distance relationship, let me know what you and your partner struggle with the most?

3 comments:

  1. Me and my husband don't have a long distance marriage but sometimes when he does get called to go away with work even for a night it makes a big difference in our marriage. sometimes distance is extremely good makes a huge difference to the house work to lol

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  2. Brilliant post. I have had one long distance relationship in my lifetime and it ended up with marriage x

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  3. I think the language thing is hard as well as getting used to each other. My partner and I had to learn a lot about the other; I really like my alone time and my partner struggled when he wanted to chat and I just wanted to read :)

    Lizzie Dripping

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